Pointless Witterings

Once again, it's a Monday, so once again, it's time to give my thoughts on this week's chart. There's been a little bit of movement in the charts (such as the loss of I Would Like - what are you doing Spotify listeners?), but, for the most part, this is going to play out a lot like last week's chart. There may, therefore be a small bit of copy and pasting, but hey, this is my gig, I make the rules. 10. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones (Chart Position - 3) Oh, for crying out loud... I Would Like is off the chart, but this, Say You Won't Let Go and Rockabye aren't? What is wrong with you all, you moronic, half-demented bunch of cranks? I am really starting to despise this song, because it's getting so much unwarranted praise and attention. It's like Work all over again: a pile of utter rubbish lifted to stardom. I despise this song, and with good reason, since everything about it doesn't work. It's really not an enjoyable listen, and I know

“Sing, muse, of that resourceful man who wandered far and wide after he had sacked the sacred citadel of Troy. Many were the men whose cities he saw and whose ways he learnt. Yay, and many the woes he suffered in his heart upon the seas striding to preserve his life and bring his companions home. But those he desired it sore, his companions he saved not.” The War Doctor, Doctor Who: A Thing Of Guile, 2016. If acting was an art form, then only a few actors can claim to be a painter. This small list is one that's probably debatable for weeks, with many names suggestible and many names argued over. It would be almost impossible to come up with a definitive list. But one of the names that would be consistent across most, if not all, lists would be John Hurt. It's impossible to accurately describe the breadth of roles that Hurt has played: he's been the outcast, the despondent, the downtrodden, the dictator, the mentor, the warrior and more. He's played every role you c

Another week, another look at the charts. Things have changed quite significantly since last week, and things are settling into place for the next couple of months by the looks of things. Since there's no time like the present, we'll begin: 10. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones (Chart Position - 3) Urgh... Why? Once again, I have to look like the grumpy old fogy, but it needs saying: how has this song reached number 3? It's right below Castle On The Hill and Shape Of You! While last week, I said that I wouldn't be as harsh on this song as I wanted to be because of it's low position and new talent, that has been blown out of the window by this song's sudden popularity. I can't get away from the dratted thing, and that isn't helped by the fact that DJ's and radio presenters are biging this up as the next big thing. It so isn't! All the complaints I had last week with this song are still relevant: it's arrogant and obnoxious, they have auto-t

Another week, another chart analysis. Not many changes this week, but things are certainly starting to move into place, ready for 2017 to really start kicking off. Give it a few weeks, and the last few treats of 2016 will have left us, and we'll have a clearer idea of 2017's definitive 'sound'. Let's get started: 10. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones (Chart Position - 7) Well, at least it's not Sexual... This song started to enter the charts towards the end of the week, and, frankly, I'm not sure I really like it. I don't know if Jax Jones has had any hits before this, but, on the weakness of this effort, I'm not sure whether he'll be getting anymore. It's major problem - and it's a pretty hefty one - is that it's far too obtuse. It's the same reaction I had to Blurred Lines or Starships: everything just oozes confidence and the smug satisfaction of a guaranteed hit. There's no of the usual things you'd expect from an u

So, the chart's been through some massive changes. With two brand new Ed Sheeran songs just being releases to huge acclaim, the chart has become rather shook up. Let's take a look at where things stand at the moment: 10. Sexual - NEIKED (Chart Position - 10) While this song is still in the chart, I must point out that it's barely hanging on in there, much to my excitement. There was one point where this song wasn't on the chart at all, so it's a shame it's managed to smuggle it's way back in. This song hasn't grown on me at all across the week, I still hate the dratted thing as much as I did last week. I'd feel like I would be repeating myself if I was to keep on going about this train-wreck, so I just summarise it quickly: badly mixed, badly sung, badly written, with bad melodies, bad beat drops and bad base sounds. Just bad. 9. Say You Won't Let Go - James Bay (Chart Position - 6) Another song that hasn't grown on me across the we

A new thing for the new year! Each week I'm going to be looking at the Spotify UK chart rankings, picking them apart and generally wondering about the current state of music. I expect some thoughts might get repeated week on week, and some might change. So, without delay: 10. Black Beatles - Rae Sremmurd (Chart Position - 10) While I'm very open to quite a few different genres of music, rap has never been one that's had much of an effect on me. I'm not quite sure why other people like it either, apart from it's edgy beats and it's willingness to tackle difficult subject matter. Simply put, it's a bit of a blank spot on me, and Black Beatles is another reinforcement of that point. I really don't find it that interesting, and it's a pretty tough listen for me, if I'm being honest. It's mainstream rap mixed with a gritty R&B vibe, but it just feels rather tired and very much coming off the back of some really poor songs in the same ilk. S