Pointless Witterings

So, the first three months of 2017 are over. And that means we've already had a quarter of the year's charts so far. 2017 has been an odd year: there hasn't been any set template. There have been really poor weeks, really great weeks, really middling weeks, we've had the lot. So, with 2017 proving utterly unreadable, I'm going to try and look at where the high points and low points have been for these three months, which genres have done the best, and which songs have played the most important roles in defining the sound of 2017. The most immediate thing I've noticed about 2017 is that this will be the year that EDM finally bites the bullet. EDM has been struggling since the middle of 2016: once, it was the genre that hit-makers loved to plunder. Now, however, a lack of creative input and new, strong figures have critically weakened the genre to the point where it's once original beats and imaginative composition has been lost in favour of just repeating t...

Ok, so... the Brits has shook the charts up completely. There has been some massive changes in the chart: some positive, some less so. There's no time like the present, so I'm just diving straight in this week: 10. Big For Your Boots - Stormzy (Chart Position - 3) Oh s***... EDM finally did it, didn't it? Call On Me really was it's last gasp, wasn't it? Now, I just want to say that this isn't the worst song from this year, because unlike Black Beatles (remember that? Barely? Good), this at least feels like someone actually wanted to try and make it interesting. However, I have to be honest... I HATE Grime. I'm sorry, but that's just my opinion. I don't like it, I just find it obnoxious, and I can never understand what it's actually about. I also hate the overuse of certain swear words, and I also find it really aggressive. In this song's defence, this is probably on the better end of Grime, but it's still full of issues: the beat is al...

It's that time of week again, where we go through the charts, and pull them apart. This week, there are some changes, including another preview of Ed Sheeran's latest album. So, we'll get started straight away with: 10. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones (Chart Position - 3) Please stop this. Why is this so popular? What possess people to listen to this song? It's really, really bad, and I mean that. It's worse than Sexual. I don't want this to be a thing, I just wish it would crawl back into the musical dead alley that it came from. 9. Call On Me: Ryan Riback Extended Remix - Starley (Chart Position - 8) Again, a song that's still in trouble, but yet still clinging on in there. I don't really have too much more to say about this entry, apart from the fact that this has been in the top 10 for about the same amount of time as Just Hold On. Again, both are bland EDM, and I feel like they are totemic of a wider problem in EDM. Mind you, I would ...

It's that time of week, so it time for another chart analysis. No new songs this week, but a few interesting developments which I think will set the stall out for the next couple of weeks. So, let's begin: 10. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones (Chart Position - 3) Is this song ever going to move? Like, really, is it ever going to move? I'm getting sick and tired of having to talk about this. The song has very few redeeming features, and is possibly on the same annoyance level as Sexual. However, Sexual never really charted that highly (well, when I was looking at the chart), and this is stubbornly sitting below Shape Of You and Castle On The Hill, waiting to pounce. I refer back to what I said three weeks ago: I can't get away from the dratted thing, and that isn't helped by the fact that DJ's and radio presenters are biging this up as the next big thing. It so isn't! All the complaints I had last week with this song are still relevant: it's arrogant...

Another Monday, another chart listing. Now, as we move into February, we're really starting to see the chart picture of 2017 start to form. Time to deconstruct it, and see what my thoughts are this week. 10. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones (Chart Position - 3) Time for banging head against a brick wall time... But how is this song actually popular? None of the elements that seem to feature in it are actually engaging to the listener, or even remotely interesting. The beat, as I repeatedly say, is excruciatingly painful, the vocals are full of 2008 levels of auto-tune and poor modulation, the mix of the two is particularly poor and the whole thing is finished with the horrible amount of smuggery that the song possesses. (On an unreleated note, I'm now being told that smuggery is not a word. I demand that it is!) This is just a train-wreck of a song, and I wish that we could just get this song out of the charts and never talk about it again. At least Sheeran's double bil...

Once again, it's a Monday, so once again, it's time to give my thoughts on this week's chart. There's been a little bit of movement in the charts (such as the loss of I Would Like - what are you doing Spotify listeners?), but, for the most part, this is going to play out a lot like last week's chart. There may, therefore be a small bit of copy and pasting, but hey, this is my gig, I make the rules. 10. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones (Chart Position - 3) Oh, for crying out loud... I Would Like is off the chart, but this, Say You Won't Let Go and Rockabye aren't? What is wrong with you all, you moronic, half-demented bunch of cranks? I am really starting to despise this song, because it's getting so much unwarranted praise and attention. It's like Work all over again: a pile of utter rubbish lifted to stardom. I despise this song, and with good reason, since everything about it doesn't work. It's really not an enjoyable listen, and I know...