A new thing for the new year! Each week I'm going to be looking at the Spotify UK chart rankings, picking them apart and generally wondering about the current state of music. I expect some thoughts might get repeated week on week, and some might change. So, without delay:
10. Black Beatles - Rae Sremmurd (Chart Position - 10)
While I'm very open to quite a few different genres of music, rap has never been one that's had much of an effect on me. I'm not quite sure why other people like it either, apart from it's edgy beats and it's willingness to tackle difficult subject matter. Simply put, it's a bit of a blank spot on me, and Black Beatles is another reinforcement of that point. I really don't find it that interesting, and it's a pretty tough listen for me, if I'm being honest. It's mainstream rap mixed with a gritty R&B vibe, but it just feels rather tired and very much coming off the back of some really poor songs in the same ilk. Sure, hardcore rap really isn't my thing, but at least it's willing to be daring, unlike this sub-par entry.
9. One Dance - Drake (Chart Position - 8)
Ok, controversy time... But I'm not a Drake fan. Some of his music has been mediocre at best, but most just feels phoned in and tired. And One Dance definitely falls into the latter category. This song seems to have been one of the most listened to tracks last year, and I'm not really sure how. It's disjointed, the lyrics are flat and uninspiring and some of the melodies are so frustrating I struggle to listen to them. The popularity of this one is probably my biggest gripe with this song though. I'm not quite sure why people like it, since it's so flat and uninspiring, I'm not quite sure why it's so loved. Hopefully, I won't be talking about this song next week.
8. Sexual - NEIKED (Chart Position - 4)
The title of this one was an immediate turn off for me... But that's not the only problem I have with this song. The vocals are so one-tone and off-key they make me want to stop listening to the song altogether. It tries to be an inoffensive song about fulfilling desire, but comes across as ham-fisted and ill-advised. And in the back of the mix is what I can only describe as Cricket clicks and chirrups. Try listening to it, and, once you hear them, you will never be able to listen to the song without getting so frustrated at them. Some of the melodies are so cobbled together as well that it's almost tragic. The ending beats are the only saving grace here, sounding as if they come from an 80's Super Mario game. The only reason why the previous two songs are lower is because they have no redeeming features, while this has just one.
7. Say You Won't Let Go - James Arthur (Chart Position - 3)
This is possibly the greatest tragedy on this list. If it wasn't for the massive issue I'm about to mention, this would probably be a lot higher on the list. It's got some well sung lyrics, that feel at least like they had some form of human intervention, and James Arthur has a decent voice, if nothing we haven't heard before... However, for some reason, the original version of this song was mysteriously replaced a few weeks ago by a new version which pretty much ruins the song. Now, this is nothing new: chords of Sam Smith's Writing On The Wall were changed about six months after the song's release. Here, however, whole sections of the song seem to have been re-recorded, and the main melodies and baseline have all been changed. There are some massive drum-like sounds that have been placed under the song after the first chorus which are just unnecessary, and actually drown out Arthur's vocals at point. In mixing terms, this new version is a complete mess, and it's a really shame, as some of the guitar work and some of James Arthur's vocals are actually really impressive. Just like the special editions of the original Star Wars movies, this is proof that more doesn't equal better.
6. Rockabye - Clean Bandit (feat. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie) (Chart Position - 1)
It certainly doesn't deserve the position it's currently in, but I do have to admit that Rockabye is growing on me. The song's baseline and melodies are all over the place, but some of it shows flashes of the rather sophisticated and stylish Clean Bandit of old. At first, I really didn't like this, but, as I said earlier, it is growing on me. I do have to be honest, though, and I still feel it's not as good as any of the entries higher up on this list. I also think that painting single parenthood as a complete grind and completely soul-crushing and destroying is possibly a bit, well, stereotypical. I'm sure there are plenty of single parents who manage perfectly well. Just a little thought for you to digest.
5. Don't Wanna Know - Maroon 5 (Chart Position - 9)
Maroon 5's latest offering is inoffensive, rather well structured and decently sung. It therefore makes for one of the most uninteresting entries in the chart currently. To be honest, I think 5th place is actually a little high, but each of the song's below it does have serious problems. There's nothing technically wrong with this: it fits into the rather dour tropical-house sub-genre perfectly well, and, as I mentioned above, it's technically very good. I just don't find it that interesting.
4. Closer - The Chainsmokers (Chart Position - 7)
Another success story from last year that's still sitting in the chart, Closer has something about it that just makes it a really enjoyable listen. It feels real - it doesn't glamorise missed chances and precipitant decisions that lead to regrets. It just tells it like it is, and when it's backed up by such subtle melodies as the one's that are present here, it makes for a lovely combination. The only reason why this song isn't higher is, I'm afraid, a fairly big one - I really don't like the beat drop. It just comes out of nowhere, and just doesn't fit with the bass and melodies leading up to it, nor the tone that the song is pitching at. That really should put the song lower, but I think everything else about it is excellent, and the song's below it don't have the same charm that this does. Closer has an old-school glamour, mixed with a healthy dose of modern realism. If it wasn't for the beat drop, this could even be number 1.
3. Starboy - The Weeknd (Chart Position - 2)
Another song that, like Rockabye, has grown on me over the time it has sat in the chart. While not eliciting the same kind of shock and dislike from me as that song did, this was still one that I wasn't sure about. However, over time and repeated listens, it's one that has continued to improve. While it take umbrage with the over-use of the n-word, and the Star Trek references, the rest of the song has a relaxed quality that follows naturally on from Earned It and Can't Feel My Face. The more electronic baseline is a nice change, and shows that The Weeknd can change his style, without feeling like he's sacrificed his artistic merit or his stamp of quality. Very impressive, and, if it remains on the chart, I could see this climbing in my estimations.
2. I Would Like - Zara Larsson (Chart Position - 5)
I'm going to get mocked for this one, but... I like this song. I've no real idea why: it's not a lyrical masterpiece, the beat is pretty much standard for the charts at the moment and I haven't been an avid follower of Zara Larsson up to this point. However, for some reason, I just really like this song. It's just got an immensely strong replay value, and is possibly becoming a little bit of a personal favourite. I know that will cost me any credibility as a hipster critic, as it's about as mainstream as you can go, but I just think everything comes together really well for this song. And the beat drop on this is much stronger than on Closer.
1. Touch - Little Mix (Chart Position - 6)
There's no real surprise here. Anyone who knows me will know I love Little Mix. And not even in a 'so bad they're good' or even a 'guilty pleasure' kind of way. I genuinely think they're a great group, with a fantastic dynamic and some really good voices. Yes, sue me, I don't give a dam. Touch is definitely their strongest single since Secret Love Song (although I did really like Shout Out To My Ex), with a rather upbeat melody that, despite it's occasional house-styled chorus, is actually quite relaxing and laid back. Like Starboy, this is a nice song to listen to, and definitely one of the strongest songs on their latest album, Glory Days. The bridge is great also, certainly the most notable out of all the songs on this list. The lyrics aren't charged with hormone-driven emotion either, just subtle enough to be realistic, but with enough artistic-licence to be interesting. And believe me, I've met people who are just drop-dead amazing. This isn't exaggerated. While I Would Like is a bit of a guilty pleasure, I can whole-heartedly recommend this one.
So, this is the Spotify Chart cross-compared with my listings for ease of reference:
Spotify:
1. Rockabye - Clean Bandit (feat. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie)
2. Starboy - The Weeknd
3. Say You Won't Let Go - James Arthur
4. Sexual - NEIKED
5. I Would Like - Zara Larsson
6. Touch - Little Mix
7. Closer - The Chainsmokers
8. One Dance - Drake
9. Don't Wanna Know - Maroon 5
10. Black Beatles - Rae Sremmurd
Me:
1. Touch - Little Mix
2. I Would Like - Zara Larsson
3. Starboy - The Weeknd
4. Closer - The Chainsmokers
5. Don't Wanna Know - Maroon 5
6. Rockabye - Clean Bandit (feat. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie)
7. Say You Won't Let Go - James Arthur
8. Sexual - NEIKED
9. One Dance - Drake
10. Black Beatles - Rae Sremmurd
I'll see you next week to see how the charts have changed, and if any rankings will be shifted!
10. Black Beatles - Rae Sremmurd (Chart Position - 10)
While I'm very open to quite a few different genres of music, rap has never been one that's had much of an effect on me. I'm not quite sure why other people like it either, apart from it's edgy beats and it's willingness to tackle difficult subject matter. Simply put, it's a bit of a blank spot on me, and Black Beatles is another reinforcement of that point. I really don't find it that interesting, and it's a pretty tough listen for me, if I'm being honest. It's mainstream rap mixed with a gritty R&B vibe, but it just feels rather tired and very much coming off the back of some really poor songs in the same ilk. Sure, hardcore rap really isn't my thing, but at least it's willing to be daring, unlike this sub-par entry.9. One Dance - Drake (Chart Position - 8)
Ok, controversy time... But I'm not a Drake fan. Some of his music has been mediocre at best, but most just feels phoned in and tired. And One Dance definitely falls into the latter category. This song seems to have been one of the most listened to tracks last year, and I'm not really sure how. It's disjointed, the lyrics are flat and uninspiring and some of the melodies are so frustrating I struggle to listen to them. The popularity of this one is probably my biggest gripe with this song though. I'm not quite sure why people like it, since it's so flat and uninspiring, I'm not quite sure why it's so loved. Hopefully, I won't be talking about this song next week.8. Sexual - NEIKED (Chart Position - 4)
The title of this one was an immediate turn off for me... But that's not the only problem I have with this song. The vocals are so one-tone and off-key they make me want to stop listening to the song altogether. It tries to be an inoffensive song about fulfilling desire, but comes across as ham-fisted and ill-advised. And in the back of the mix is what I can only describe as Cricket clicks and chirrups. Try listening to it, and, once you hear them, you will never be able to listen to the song without getting so frustrated at them. Some of the melodies are so cobbled together as well that it's almost tragic. The ending beats are the only saving grace here, sounding as if they come from an 80's Super Mario game. The only reason why the previous two songs are lower is because they have no redeeming features, while this has just one.
7. Say You Won't Let Go - James Arthur (Chart Position - 3)This is possibly the greatest tragedy on this list. If it wasn't for the massive issue I'm about to mention, this would probably be a lot higher on the list. It's got some well sung lyrics, that feel at least like they had some form of human intervention, and James Arthur has a decent voice, if nothing we haven't heard before... However, for some reason, the original version of this song was mysteriously replaced a few weeks ago by a new version which pretty much ruins the song. Now, this is nothing new: chords of Sam Smith's Writing On The Wall were changed about six months after the song's release. Here, however, whole sections of the song seem to have been re-recorded, and the main melodies and baseline have all been changed. There are some massive drum-like sounds that have been placed under the song after the first chorus which are just unnecessary, and actually drown out Arthur's vocals at point. In mixing terms, this new version is a complete mess, and it's a really shame, as some of the guitar work and some of James Arthur's vocals are actually really impressive. Just like the special editions of the original Star Wars movies, this is proof that more doesn't equal better.
6. Rockabye - Clean Bandit (feat. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie) (Chart Position - 1)
It certainly doesn't deserve the position it's currently in, but I do have to admit that Rockabye is growing on me. The song's baseline and melodies are all over the place, but some of it shows flashes of the rather sophisticated and stylish Clean Bandit of old. At first, I really didn't like this, but, as I said earlier, it is growing on me. I do have to be honest, though, and I still feel it's not as good as any of the entries higher up on this list. I also think that painting single parenthood as a complete grind and completely soul-crushing and destroying is possibly a bit, well, stereotypical. I'm sure there are plenty of single parents who manage perfectly well. Just a little thought for you to digest.
5. Don't Wanna Know - Maroon 5 (Chart Position - 9)Maroon 5's latest offering is inoffensive, rather well structured and decently sung. It therefore makes for one of the most uninteresting entries in the chart currently. To be honest, I think 5th place is actually a little high, but each of the song's below it does have serious problems. There's nothing technically wrong with this: it fits into the rather dour tropical-house sub-genre perfectly well, and, as I mentioned above, it's technically very good. I just don't find it that interesting.
4. Closer - The Chainsmokers (Chart Position - 7)
Another success story from last year that's still sitting in the chart, Closer has something about it that just makes it a really enjoyable listen. It feels real - it doesn't glamorise missed chances and precipitant decisions that lead to regrets. It just tells it like it is, and when it's backed up by such subtle melodies as the one's that are present here, it makes for a lovely combination. The only reason why this song isn't higher is, I'm afraid, a fairly big one - I really don't like the beat drop. It just comes out of nowhere, and just doesn't fit with the bass and melodies leading up to it, nor the tone that the song is pitching at. That really should put the song lower, but I think everything else about it is excellent, and the song's below it don't have the same charm that this does. Closer has an old-school glamour, mixed with a healthy dose of modern realism. If it wasn't for the beat drop, this could even be number 1.3. Starboy - The Weeknd (Chart Position - 2)
Another song that, like Rockabye, has grown on me over the time it has sat in the chart. While not eliciting the same kind of shock and dislike from me as that song did, this was still one that I wasn't sure about. However, over time and repeated listens, it's one that has continued to improve. While it take umbrage with the over-use of the n-word, and the Star Trek references, the rest of the song has a relaxed quality that follows naturally on from Earned It and Can't Feel My Face. The more electronic baseline is a nice change, and shows that The Weeknd can change his style, without feeling like he's sacrificed his artistic merit or his stamp of quality. Very impressive, and, if it remains on the chart, I could see this climbing in my estimations.2. I Would Like - Zara Larsson (Chart Position - 5)
I'm going to get mocked for this one, but... I like this song. I've no real idea why: it's not a lyrical masterpiece, the beat is pretty much standard for the charts at the moment and I haven't been an avid follower of Zara Larsson up to this point. However, for some reason, I just really like this song. It's just got an immensely strong replay value, and is possibly becoming a little bit of a personal favourite. I know that will cost me any credibility as a hipster critic, as it's about as mainstream as you can go, but I just think everything comes together really well for this song. And the beat drop on this is much stronger than on Closer.1. Touch - Little Mix (Chart Position - 6)
There's no real surprise here. Anyone who knows me will know I love Little Mix. And not even in a 'so bad they're good' or even a 'guilty pleasure' kind of way. I genuinely think they're a great group, with a fantastic dynamic and some really good voices. Yes, sue me, I don't give a dam. Touch is definitely their strongest single since Secret Love Song (although I did really like Shout Out To My Ex), with a rather upbeat melody that, despite it's occasional house-styled chorus, is actually quite relaxing and laid back. Like Starboy, this is a nice song to listen to, and definitely one of the strongest songs on their latest album, Glory Days. The bridge is great also, certainly the most notable out of all the songs on this list. The lyrics aren't charged with hormone-driven emotion either, just subtle enough to be realistic, but with enough artistic-licence to be interesting. And believe me, I've met people who are just drop-dead amazing. This isn't exaggerated. While I Would Like is a bit of a guilty pleasure, I can whole-heartedly recommend this one.So, this is the Spotify Chart cross-compared with my listings for ease of reference:
Spotify:
1. Rockabye - Clean Bandit (feat. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie)
2. Starboy - The Weeknd
3. Say You Won't Let Go - James Arthur
4. Sexual - NEIKED
5. I Would Like - Zara Larsson
6. Touch - Little Mix
7. Closer - The Chainsmokers
8. One Dance - Drake
9. Don't Wanna Know - Maroon 5
10. Black Beatles - Rae Sremmurd
Me:
1. Touch - Little Mix
2. I Would Like - Zara Larsson
3. Starboy - The Weeknd
4. Closer - The Chainsmokers
5. Don't Wanna Know - Maroon 5
6. Rockabye - Clean Bandit (feat. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie)
7. Say You Won't Let Go - James Arthur
8. Sexual - NEIKED
9. One Dance - Drake
10. Black Beatles - Rae Sremmurd
I'll see you next week to see how the charts have changed, and if any rankings will be shifted!
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