Pointless Witterings

It's that time of week, so it time for another chart analysis. No new songs this week, but a few interesting developments which I think will set the stall out for the next couple of weeks. So, let's begin: 10. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones (Chart Position - 3) Is this song ever going to move? Like, really, is it ever going to move? I'm getting sick and tired of having to talk about this. The song has very few redeeming features, and is possibly on the same annoyance level as Sexual. However, Sexual never really charted that highly (well, when I was looking at the chart), and this is stubbornly sitting below Shape Of You and Castle On The Hill, waiting to pounce. I refer back to what I said three weeks ago: I can't get away from the dratted thing, and that isn't helped by the fact that DJ's and radio presenters are biging this up as the next big thing. It so isn't! All the complaints I had last week with this song are still relevant: it's arrogant...

Another Monday, another chart listing. Now, as we move into February, we're really starting to see the chart picture of 2017 start to form. Time to deconstruct it, and see what my thoughts are this week. 10. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones (Chart Position - 3) Time for banging head against a brick wall time... But how is this song actually popular? None of the elements that seem to feature in it are actually engaging to the listener, or even remotely interesting. The beat, as I repeatedly say, is excruciatingly painful, the vocals are full of 2008 levels of auto-tune and poor modulation, the mix of the two is particularly poor and the whole thing is finished with the horrible amount of smuggery that the song possesses. (On an unreleated note, I'm now being told that smuggery is not a word. I demand that it is!) This is just a train-wreck of a song, and I wish that we could just get this song out of the charts and never talk about it again. At least Sheeran's double bil...

Once again, it's a Monday, so once again, it's time to give my thoughts on this week's chart. There's been a little bit of movement in the charts (such as the loss of I Would Like - what are you doing Spotify listeners?), but, for the most part, this is going to play out a lot like last week's chart. There may, therefore be a small bit of copy and pasting, but hey, this is my gig, I make the rules. 10. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones (Chart Position - 3) Oh, for crying out loud... I Would Like is off the chart, but this, Say You Won't Let Go and Rockabye aren't? What is wrong with you all, you moronic, half-demented bunch of cranks? I am really starting to despise this song, because it's getting so much unwarranted praise and attention. It's like Work all over again: a pile of utter rubbish lifted to stardom. I despise this song, and with good reason, since everything about it doesn't work. It's really not an enjoyable listen, and I know...

Another week, another look at the charts. Things have changed quite significantly since last week, and things are settling into place for the next couple of months by the looks of things. Since there's no time like the present, we'll begin: 10. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones (Chart Position - 3) Urgh... Why? Once again, I have to look like the grumpy old fogy, but it needs saying: how has this song reached number 3? It's right below Castle On The Hill and Shape Of You! While last week, I said that I wouldn't be as harsh on this song as I wanted to be because of it's low position and new talent, that has been blown out of the window by this song's sudden popularity. I can't get away from the dratted thing, and that isn't helped by the fact that DJ's and radio presenters are biging this up as the next big thing. It so isn't! All the complaints I had last week with this song are still relevant: it's arrogant and obnoxious, they have auto-t...

Another week, another chart analysis. Not many changes this week, but things are certainly starting to move into place, ready for 2017 to really start kicking off. Give it a few weeks, and the last few treats of 2016 will have left us, and we'll have a clearer idea of 2017's definitive 'sound'. Let's get started: 10. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones (Chart Position - 7) Well, at least it's not Sexual... This song started to enter the charts towards the end of the week, and, frankly, I'm not sure I really like it. I don't know if Jax Jones has had any hits before this, but, on the weakness of this effort, I'm not sure whether he'll be getting anymore. It's major problem - and it's a pretty hefty one - is that it's far too obtuse. It's the same reaction I had to Blurred Lines or Starships: everything just oozes confidence and the smug satisfaction of a guaranteed hit. There's no of the usual things you'd expect from an u...