Pointless Witterings

Starring Alex Kingston & Alexander Siddig. Written by Justin Richards & Directed by Ken Bentley. River Song always enjoys a good party, even when she’s not entirely sure where or when the party is taking place. But the party she ends up at is one where not everything – or indeed everyone – is what it seems… Being River, it doesn’t take her too long to go exploring, and it doesn’t take her too long to get into trouble. The sort of trouble that involves manipulating other civilisations, exploitation, and of course murder. River is confident she can find the killer. But can she identify them before anyone else – or quite possibly everyone else – gets killed? After a rather mediocre start to this first series of River Song adventures, it's nice to see the reliable hand that is Justin Richards brought in to oversee River's second audio outing. And he once again delivers a stylish, safe script that introduces some of the key elements to the series arc, and te...

Ok, so... the Brits has shook the charts up completely. There has been some massive changes in the chart: some positive, some less so. There's no time like the present, so I'm just diving straight in this week: 10. Big For Your Boots - Stormzy (Chart Position - 3) Oh s***... EDM finally did it, didn't it? Call On Me really was it's last gasp, wasn't it? Now, I just want to say that this isn't the worst song from this year, because unlike Black Beatles (remember that? Barely? Good), this at least feels like someone actually wanted to try and make it interesting. However, I have to be honest... I HATE Grime. I'm sorry, but that's just my opinion. I don't like it, I just find it obnoxious, and I can never understand what it's actually about. I also hate the overuse of certain swear words, and I also find it really aggressive. In this song's defence, this is probably on the better end of Grime, but it's still full of issues: the beat is al...

Starring Alex Kingston & Alexander Vlahos. Written by Jenny T Colgan & Directed by Ken Bentley. River Song has had more than enough excitement for a while. Deciding the universe – and her husband – can look after themselves, she has immersed herself in early 20th century academia, absorbed in writing archaeological theses. But when a mysterious tomb is found in a dry, distant land, excitement comes looking for River. Can Professor Song stop any more members of the expedition from dying? What deadly secrets lie buried within the crypt? And will British Consul Bertie Potts prove to be a help, or a hindrance? River Song, as a character, is one that polarises the fan base. To some, she's an excellent character, who enlivened the early Moffat era with her sass and complex arc. And, to others, she's a bug-bear: an irritant with virtually no personality beyond the few clichés that Moffat had thrown together, and an over-complicated arc with no real structure to it....

Starring Tom Baker, Lalla Ward, Christopher Benjamin, Trevor Baxter and Ed Stoppard, with John Leeson as K9. Written by Justin Richards & Directed by Nicholas Briggs A stunning new star act is wowing the audiences of the New Regency Theatre. The modern mechanical marvel of canny canine charisma - the automated dog that can answer any question - the incomparable - the unbeatable - K9! The Doctor and Romana have returned to Victorian London and been reunited with their old friends Professor George Litefoot and Henry Gordon Jago. However this is not merely a social visit. A terrifying crime spree is sweeping the capital, and the burglaries of 'The Knave' defy all logic. Something impossibly dangerous is taking place amid the fog. Only the time travellers and their friends can stop it... but can they be sure they're all on the same side? After five seasons, which have, for the most part, followed a very strict formula, Big Finish have decided to shift the Fourth...

It's that time of week again, where we go through the charts, and pull them apart. This week, there are some changes, including another preview of Ed Sheeran's latest album. So, we'll get started straight away with: 10. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones (Chart Position - 3) Please stop this. Why is this so popular? What possess people to listen to this song? It's really, really bad, and I mean that. It's worse than Sexual. I don't want this to be a thing, I just wish it would crawl back into the musical dead alley that it came from. 9. Call On Me: Ryan Riback Extended Remix - Starley (Chart Position - 8) Again, a song that's still in trouble, but yet still clinging on in there. I don't really have too much more to say about this entry, apart from the fact that this has been in the top 10 for about the same amount of time as Just Hold On. Again, both are bland EDM, and I feel like they are totemic of a wider problem in EDM. Mind you, I would ...

Starring Alex Kingston, Colin Baker & Sylvester McCoy. Written by Matt Fitton & Directed by Ken Bentley. The Great Storm of 1703 approaches. The fate of planet Earth hangs in the balance. The only person who can save it is the Doctor. Or River Song. Or quite possibly another Doctor. Or maybe this whole situation is their fault in the first place. Two Doctors. One River. An infinite number of ways to destroy the world. It’s going to be a bumpy ride… My thoughts on this second set of River Song adventures is rather mixed. On the one hand, this set has been frustrating at every turn, with two of the biggest stories of the set being ultimately missed opportunities, with a hamstrung plot arc binding them together. And yet, there have been plenty of individual moments that stand out, and the second episode has been the strongest of this series so far. And The Eye Of The Storm feels like an appropriate microcosm of all my faults with the set: there's lots of ...

Starring Alex Kingston and Colin Baker Written by James Goss & Directed by Ken Bentley When it comes to bringing down corrupt and exploitative regimes, there is no-one quite like River. Until she arrives at Golden Futures and discovers that someone else has already taken on her job. Someone with almost as much style and panache as herself. The Doctor is about to get the shock of his lives. It seems as if The Diary Of River Song keeps hitting problems. After a problematic first instalment, and a strong second one, I was hoping that story three, World Enough And Time, could maintain the strong storytelling we'd seen in Five Twenty-Nine. But while World Enough And Time is better than The Unknown, for the most part it seems utterly confused about what it wants to be, and some bits of the story make absolutely no sense. And this story also features some of the worst characterisation of the sixth Doctor since the heady days of the mid 1980's. The starting point for ...