It's that time of week, so it time for another chart analysis. No new songs this week, but a few interesting developments which I think will set the stall out for the next couple of weeks. So, let's begin:
10. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones (Chart Position - 3)
Is this song ever going to move? Like, really, is it ever going to move? I'm getting sick and tired of having to talk about this. The song has very few redeeming features, and is possibly on the same annoyance level as Sexual. However, Sexual never really charted that highly (well, when I was looking at the chart), and this is stubbornly sitting below Shape Of You and Castle On The Hill, waiting to pounce. I refer back to what I said three weeks ago:
I can't get away from the dratted thing, and that isn't helped by the fact that DJ's and radio presenters are biging this up as the next big thing. It so isn't! All the complaints I had last week with this song are still relevant: it's arrogant and obnoxious, they have auto-tuned the vocals to death, with the rest being given some very poor modulation that makes the Dalek voices in Day Of The Daleks tolerable, the lyrics have no structure or storytelling and it just feels so thrown together, that it feels completely distant from any effort at all. It's just a song produced with minimum effort for maximum effect, and the whole approach stinks.
That's pretty much all I have to say. Put more eloquently than this song is, that's a fact.
9. Rockabye - Clean Bandit (feat. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie) (Chart Position - 9)
(JOE, LOOKING OFF SCREEN) What? Do I really have to talk about this one AGAIN? Can't we just skip over it?
(VOICE, OFF SCREEN) Yes, it's still in the chart. You have to talk about it.
(JOE) But I don't want to. No-ones going to get anything from me talking about this song again. What happens if I don't talk about it?
A STAGEHAND COMES INTO SHOT, AND HANDS JOE A PIECE OF PAPER.
(JOE) What do you mean I won't get paid?
A MURRMER IS HEARD OUT OF SHOT.
(JOE) Right, fine, let's do it.
Please let this end. People want to hear me say new things, not old. Just let it go.
Thank you.
Joe M.
8. Call On Me: Ryan Riback Extended Remix - Starley (Chart Position - 8)
Unless EDM pulls it's boots up, the writing might be on the wall for this music genre in a mainstream form. Seriously, Stormzy entered the charts this week with his latest song. In fact, I'm pretty sure there was a point when that was in the top 10, and this wasn't. Sure, there's nothing offensively wrong with this song, unlike the lower 2 entries on this chart. But it just isn't notable to stick in my mind. Nothing screams 'I want to grab my audience', no it just don't want to stick out at all. And that's a problem affecting most of house music at the moment. There are, of course, exceptions (I like the recent house remix of Britney Spears' Toxic), but for the most part, house music (especially EDM) has got stuck in a rut, and I can see no way out. Call On Me isn't offensively bad, but I feel like it's coming as the heralds of doom for the EDM genre.
7. I Don't Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker) - ZAYN & The Other One (Chart Position - 7)
Is this the love song of the year? I bloody hope not. Sure, I love the instrumental of this song, I really do. However, I have major issues with everything else. I'm pretty sure ZAYN (do I really have to call him that?) is just modelling himself as the carbon copy of The Weeknd, but without any of what made him actually good. And this song feels like it's been sung by him. Honestly, put this song on the Starboy album, and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. And as for TS, well, to be honest, she makes as much impact upon this song as Big Brother does to my cultural experience. And, of course, Fifty Shades Darker is out now, so this song's going to climb higher still. Honestly, I'm just not interested in it. I wonder if this song's popularity will spike up tomorrow, as people start shagging like rabbits to it. Well, ladies who are reading this, if he decides to surprise you with this song as your passionate climax, pull out fast and leave him to it. There's nothing obtrusively wrong with the song, and I don't dislike it: I just have zero opinion on the thing. It's a vacuous nothing, with nothing to recommend/mock/criticise. I'm bored of it already. Also, the Fifty Shades series is shit. So there.
6. September Song - JP Cooper (Chart Position - 10)
I said I had more to say about this song last week, but I think that I might have been wrong. Like I Don't Wanna Live Forever, I've kind of run out of things to say about this song. I do think this is a dam sight better than that song: I can still remember it after I've heard it, and it isn't attached to a controversial movie. Yet, it's lack of definition has really cost this song, as I suspect that it's about to plummet out of the top 10. I said two weeks ago that:
I also think it feels a little rough around the edges. The bridge tries to go for an 80's groovy synth-type beat, and just doesn't work because it feels far too forced in.
I do still stand by that, and I think that's probably quite damaging for this song. Still, it's ok, and it will be a shame when this leaves the chart, especially if it's ahead of Rockabye and You Don't Know Me.
5. Touch - Little Mix (Chart Position - 6)
The only new thing I can say about this song is that it's dropped in the charts, and I suspect that the coming weeks will see it slip out of the top 10. Still, a perfectly decent song, but maybe it's time it moved on to let other songs have their moment in the limelight.
4. Human - Rag'n'Bone Man (Chart Position - 5)
I'm literally just going to post my thoughts from 5 weeks ago, which sufficiently cover my thoughts on the song.
Easily one of the best songs of this decade, I've listened to Human so many times that it's actually possibly in the triple-digits. I love this for it's gritty-ness: it's dark and deep and it's not afraid to show it. The beat is slow in the verses and powerful in the choruses, while the vocals keep everything fixed in the lowest of registers. I love the lyrics too, which have the truly realistic feel this song is going for. I love the fact it fades out as well. So many songs just stop in today's chart, it's nice to have one that, while does stopping, it winds down, with some isolated vocals at the end. The bridge is pretty much perfect too, carrying the song into it's ending perfectly. I think, most of all though, I connect with this song personally. It just has a connection with me that most other songs lack. They're what I want my life to be - this is what my life actually is, and, for that, I have to say it's one of my all-time favourite songs, in any category.
3. Paris - The Chainsmokers (Chart Position - 4)
I've decided that my thoughts from 2 weeks ago cover everything I want to say about this song. I suspect it will probably be quite a popular choice this week:
I'm really liking the new Chainsmokers. Their early songs were all full of excess, but since Closer, they've been releasing some really restrained material that's actually really well put together. Paris has grown on me across the week - not really enough to bump it up, but enough to make me think that it could climb, if given enough time in the chart. Last week, I commented about how there were melodies that didn't quite work for me. However, this week, I can't seem to find them, because listening to this back to back with September Song has shown me why this is the superior song, and why those melodies are better in than out. While September Song plays it safe as far as tropical house, and relaxed music goes, Paris decides to muck around with the conventions, to try and elicit a response. It's a song that needs those unusual guitar riffs, because it's trying to highlight how passionate emotions can run in a city of romance like Paris. And I think they do work, because the song makes them work. I'm really starting to like Paris a lot, and I'm hoping that whatever the Chainsmokers release next will be half as good as this.
2. Castle On The Hill - Ed Sheeran (Chart Position - 2)
Again, here are my thoughts from 3 weeks ago. I've nothing to add to them:
I'm still upset this song's playing second fiddle to Shape Of You, as I feet that it's just as good in it's own right. I love the 'roadtrip' nature of the song (something that always gets a thumbs up from me), and it's so well written: it's packed with feeling and genuine reminiscence that you don't doubt Sheeran for a moment. While not as safe as Shape Of You in the charts, perhaps, this is one that will still be around for a couple of weeks yet.
1. Shape Of You - Ed Sheeran (Chart Position - 1)
Thoughts from 4 weeks ago, to make up for a lack of material on my part:
It's quite hard to pit these two songs against each other, since they are two rather different beasts. Shape Of You is still a success, possibly more so than Castle On The Hill because, on every chart, it has lead over Castle On The Hill, and I still adore it. I've seen this one crop up on a lot of easy listening playlists, and, I have to say, they're rings some truth their. All the melodies and beats are perfect for that genre: you could just sink away listening to it. I, in particular, love the way Sheeran uses his voice. He plays around with it in so many different ways that it makes it seem effortless, and the song feels like it flows perfectly. He's leading us on a journey, something that I think is so key to this songs success. Backed up by all the strong work that goes into the song, you get an excellent hit that is truly deserving of the title.
As an addendum, I really think you need to watch the version of this song that's been dubbed onto the Teletubbies opening. It's bloody hilarious.
So, this is the Spotify Chart cross-compared with my listings for ease of reference:
Spotify:
1. Shape Of You - Ed Sheeran
2. Castle On The Hill - Ed Sheeran
3. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones
4. Paris - The Chainsmokers
5. Human - Rag'n'Bone Man
6. Touch - Little Mix
7. I Don't Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker) - ZAYN & The Other One
8. Call On Me: Ryan Riback Extended Remix - Starley
9. Rockabye - Clean Bandit (feat. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie)
10. September Song - JP Cooper
Me:1. Shape Of You - Ed Sheeran
2. Castle On The Hill - Ed Sheeran
3. Paris - The Chainsmokers
4. Human - Rag'n'Bone Man
5. Touch - Little Mix
6. September Song - JP Cooper
7. I Don't Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker) - ZAYN & The Other One
8. Call On Me: Ryan Riback Extended Remix - Starley
9. Rockabye - Clean Bandit (feat. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie)
10. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones
Join me next week for another chart analysis!
10. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones (Chart Position - 3)
Is this song ever going to move? Like, really, is it ever going to move? I'm getting sick and tired of having to talk about this. The song has very few redeeming features, and is possibly on the same annoyance level as Sexual. However, Sexual never really charted that highly (well, when I was looking at the chart), and this is stubbornly sitting below Shape Of You and Castle On The Hill, waiting to pounce. I refer back to what I said three weeks ago:I can't get away from the dratted thing, and that isn't helped by the fact that DJ's and radio presenters are biging this up as the next big thing. It so isn't! All the complaints I had last week with this song are still relevant: it's arrogant and obnoxious, they have auto-tuned the vocals to death, with the rest being given some very poor modulation that makes the Dalek voices in Day Of The Daleks tolerable, the lyrics have no structure or storytelling and it just feels so thrown together, that it feels completely distant from any effort at all. It's just a song produced with minimum effort for maximum effect, and the whole approach stinks.
That's pretty much all I have to say. Put more eloquently than this song is, that's a fact.
9. Rockabye - Clean Bandit (feat. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie) (Chart Position - 9)(JOE, LOOKING OFF SCREEN) What? Do I really have to talk about this one AGAIN? Can't we just skip over it?
(VOICE, OFF SCREEN) Yes, it's still in the chart. You have to talk about it.
(JOE) But I don't want to. No-ones going to get anything from me talking about this song again. What happens if I don't talk about it?
A STAGEHAND COMES INTO SHOT, AND HANDS JOE A PIECE OF PAPER.
(JOE) What do you mean I won't get paid?
A MURRMER IS HEARD OUT OF SHOT.
(JOE) Right, fine, let's do it.
Please let this end. People want to hear me say new things, not old. Just let it go.
Thank you.
Joe M.
8. Call On Me: Ryan Riback Extended Remix - Starley (Chart Position - 8)
Unless EDM pulls it's boots up, the writing might be on the wall for this music genre in a mainstream form. Seriously, Stormzy entered the charts this week with his latest song. In fact, I'm pretty sure there was a point when that was in the top 10, and this wasn't. Sure, there's nothing offensively wrong with this song, unlike the lower 2 entries on this chart. But it just isn't notable to stick in my mind. Nothing screams 'I want to grab my audience', no it just don't want to stick out at all. And that's a problem affecting most of house music at the moment. There are, of course, exceptions (I like the recent house remix of Britney Spears' Toxic), but for the most part, house music (especially EDM) has got stuck in a rut, and I can see no way out. Call On Me isn't offensively bad, but I feel like it's coming as the heralds of doom for the EDM genre. 7. I Don't Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker) - ZAYN & The Other One (Chart Position - 7)
Is this the love song of the year? I bloody hope not. Sure, I love the instrumental of this song, I really do. However, I have major issues with everything else. I'm pretty sure ZAYN (do I really have to call him that?) is just modelling himself as the carbon copy of The Weeknd, but without any of what made him actually good. And this song feels like it's been sung by him. Honestly, put this song on the Starboy album, and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference. And as for TS, well, to be honest, she makes as much impact upon this song as Big Brother does to my cultural experience. And, of course, Fifty Shades Darker is out now, so this song's going to climb higher still. Honestly, I'm just not interested in it. I wonder if this song's popularity will spike up tomorrow, as people start shagging like rabbits to it. Well, ladies who are reading this, if he decides to surprise you with this song as your passionate climax, pull out fast and leave him to it. There's nothing obtrusively wrong with the song, and I don't dislike it: I just have zero opinion on the thing. It's a vacuous nothing, with nothing to recommend/mock/criticise. I'm bored of it already. Also, the Fifty Shades series is shit. So there.6. September Song - JP Cooper (Chart Position - 10)
I said I had more to say about this song last week, but I think that I might have been wrong. Like I Don't Wanna Live Forever, I've kind of run out of things to say about this song. I do think this is a dam sight better than that song: I can still remember it after I've heard it, and it isn't attached to a controversial movie. Yet, it's lack of definition has really cost this song, as I suspect that it's about to plummet out of the top 10. I said two weeks ago that:I also think it feels a little rough around the edges. The bridge tries to go for an 80's groovy synth-type beat, and just doesn't work because it feels far too forced in.
I do still stand by that, and I think that's probably quite damaging for this song. Still, it's ok, and it will be a shame when this leaves the chart, especially if it's ahead of Rockabye and You Don't Know Me.
5. Touch - Little Mix (Chart Position - 6)
The only new thing I can say about this song is that it's dropped in the charts, and I suspect that the coming weeks will see it slip out of the top 10. Still, a perfectly decent song, but maybe it's time it moved on to let other songs have their moment in the limelight. 4. Human - Rag'n'Bone Man (Chart Position - 5)
I'm literally just going to post my thoughts from 5 weeks ago, which sufficiently cover my thoughts on the song.
Easily one of the best songs of this decade, I've listened to Human so many times that it's actually possibly in the triple-digits. I love this for it's gritty-ness: it's dark and deep and it's not afraid to show it. The beat is slow in the verses and powerful in the choruses, while the vocals keep everything fixed in the lowest of registers. I love the lyrics too, which have the truly realistic feel this song is going for. I love the fact it fades out as well. So many songs just stop in today's chart, it's nice to have one that, while does stopping, it winds down, with some isolated vocals at the end. The bridge is pretty much perfect too, carrying the song into it's ending perfectly. I think, most of all though, I connect with this song personally. It just has a connection with me that most other songs lack. They're what I want my life to be - this is what my life actually is, and, for that, I have to say it's one of my all-time favourite songs, in any category.3. Paris - The Chainsmokers (Chart Position - 4)
I've decided that my thoughts from 2 weeks ago cover everything I want to say about this song. I suspect it will probably be quite a popular choice this week:I'm really liking the new Chainsmokers. Their early songs were all full of excess, but since Closer, they've been releasing some really restrained material that's actually really well put together. Paris has grown on me across the week - not really enough to bump it up, but enough to make me think that it could climb, if given enough time in the chart. Last week, I commented about how there were melodies that didn't quite work for me. However, this week, I can't seem to find them, because listening to this back to back with September Song has shown me why this is the superior song, and why those melodies are better in than out. While September Song plays it safe as far as tropical house, and relaxed music goes, Paris decides to muck around with the conventions, to try and elicit a response. It's a song that needs those unusual guitar riffs, because it's trying to highlight how passionate emotions can run in a city of romance like Paris. And I think they do work, because the song makes them work. I'm really starting to like Paris a lot, and I'm hoping that whatever the Chainsmokers release next will be half as good as this.
2. Castle On The Hill - Ed Sheeran (Chart Position - 2)
Again, here are my thoughts from 3 weeks ago. I've nothing to add to them:I'm still upset this song's playing second fiddle to Shape Of You, as I feet that it's just as good in it's own right. I love the 'roadtrip' nature of the song (something that always gets a thumbs up from me), and it's so well written: it's packed with feeling and genuine reminiscence that you don't doubt Sheeran for a moment. While not as safe as Shape Of You in the charts, perhaps, this is one that will still be around for a couple of weeks yet.
1. Shape Of You - Ed Sheeran (Chart Position - 1)
Thoughts from 4 weeks ago, to make up for a lack of material on my part:
It's quite hard to pit these two songs against each other, since they are two rather different beasts. Shape Of You is still a success, possibly more so than Castle On The Hill because, on every chart, it has lead over Castle On The Hill, and I still adore it. I've seen this one crop up on a lot of easy listening playlists, and, I have to say, they're rings some truth their. All the melodies and beats are perfect for that genre: you could just sink away listening to it. I, in particular, love the way Sheeran uses his voice. He plays around with it in so many different ways that it makes it seem effortless, and the song feels like it flows perfectly. He's leading us on a journey, something that I think is so key to this songs success. Backed up by all the strong work that goes into the song, you get an excellent hit that is truly deserving of the title. As an addendum, I really think you need to watch the version of this song that's been dubbed onto the Teletubbies opening. It's bloody hilarious.
So, this is the Spotify Chart cross-compared with my listings for ease of reference:
Spotify:
1. Shape Of You - Ed Sheeran
2. Castle On The Hill - Ed Sheeran
3. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones
4. Paris - The Chainsmokers
5. Human - Rag'n'Bone Man
6. Touch - Little Mix
7. I Don't Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker) - ZAYN & The Other One
8. Call On Me: Ryan Riback Extended Remix - Starley
9. Rockabye - Clean Bandit (feat. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie)
10. September Song - JP Cooper
Me:1. Shape Of You - Ed Sheeran
2. Castle On The Hill - Ed Sheeran
3. Paris - The Chainsmokers
4. Human - Rag'n'Bone Man
5. Touch - Little Mix
6. September Song - JP Cooper
7. I Don't Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker) - ZAYN & The Other One
8. Call On Me: Ryan Riback Extended Remix - Starley
9. Rockabye - Clean Bandit (feat. Sean Paul & Anne-Marie)
10. You Don't Know Me - Jax Jones
Join me next week for another chart analysis!
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