Another week, another chart rankings. Most of this week's views will be lifted from last week, as I don't really have the care to find another way to say exactly the same thing. So, we start with:
10. HUMBLE. - Kendrick Lemar (Chart Position - 5)
Oh Christ... Not again. Now, if people really like this thing, then I suppose that's valid. Everyone has their own little quirks, but I don't understand how anyone who has any regard for the past 100 years of female emancipation can actually like this. It's far, far too obtuse, and, while it does have some interesting musical structures (even if it is far too repetitive), the lyrics are what really kick the song in the knackers. This follows the same level of sophistication that Drake's latest album did, and I'm rather worried that this kind of music is actually going to become popular. Sure, Kendrick Lamar has a lot more energy than Drake does, but this kind of childish objectification of women just really grates on me. For a song that's meant to be humble, this is anything but.
9. Passionfruit - Drake (Chart Position - 4)
My thoughts from three weeks ago:
This is possibly the most drastic drop on my chart since these rankings began, and while some would say that it's unwarranted, the reason why this song was so high originally was only because of the poor quality of last week's chart. Sure, it's the best Drake song I've heard and remember by a country mile, but, when up against much stiffer competition, this just crumbles. But, if Drake continues along this route, you might find my unrelenting criticism of him lessening somewhat.
8. Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay (Chart Position - 7)
My thoughts from last week:
Seriously? In the week of summer sunshine and beautiful clear skies, this is the song you choose to be the most average song from the top 10? Now sure, I love the instrumental: the beat is strong and driving, the melodies and effects are diverse and interesting and even the beat drop has grown on me, despite it not being as sophisticated and coherent as songs like Closer and Paris. However, and I've said this every week this has been in the charts, Chris Martin's vocals suck any life this song was trying to have out of it, leaving it a hollow, flat shell. Sure, if you like that thing, that's fine. Martin's delivery works for stuff like Clocks and The Scientist, but anything with a vaguly upbeat tempo, and it all falls apart (save for Viva La Vida and Adventure Of A Lifetime, which are bloody miracles as far as I'm concerned). It's a shame: had The Chainsmokers brought in another guest vocalist (pretty much anyone would have done), this would have been utterly fantastic. As is, I have to be honest, and say it's a song with a massive waste of potential.
7. Solo Dance - Martin Jensen (Chart Position - 8)
My thoughts from last week:
I can't really tell if this is EDM or Tropical House... but, whatever it is, it's a bland rehash of all the clichés of both genres. I had hoped that the steady encroachment of Rap and Grime onto their territory would have been the kick up the arse that EDM/Tropical House needed, but it seems I was sadly mistaken. I would just like to say that there's nothing 'wrong' with Solo Dance - the lyrics don't make much sense, but then again, they're not really meant to on a EDM/TH song. It's about the instrumental, and this follows all the genre clichés to the letter. It's really hard to talk about this one, because I've said it all with Don't Wanna Know, Call On Me and Just Hold On. There's so little I can add, apart from that it's a strong performance from Martin Jensen on vocals, and the build-up to the chorus is quite nice. Other than that, this is a song I couldn't really care less about.
6. It Ain't Me - Kygo & Selena Gomez (Chart Position - 9)
My thoughts from last week:
Last week, I said that this song had 'been a hit with me' and that 'I liked it'. That's probably an exaggeration. What I think that this song is a pretty decent piece of music that, if it comes up, I don't mind listening to. But I don't think I'd go searching for it to deliberately listen to. This song suffers from the same criticism I could level at Solo Dance: it's just too bland. This one gets away with that, however, by being at least quite engaging. However, it's not really a personal favourite, and I've been far too nice on it the past few weeks for what it actually is. Still, it's not awful, and it has some good points, such as the upbeat instrumental, and the easy vocals from Selena Gomez.
5. That's What I Like - Bruno Mars (Chart Position - 10)
My thoughts from last week:
Now, this is what I'm talking about! This song is great, seriously. It's probably the 80's Groove style that Mars goes for. Since 2013, he's been really good at keying into that latter-day 80's throwback style, which saw him have huge success with Uptown Funk. Sure 24K Magic didn't have quite the same success, but I'd take it over most of the chart in the second half of 2016. And That's What I Like takes it's inspiration from stuff like Between The Sheets and Sign Your Name to create something that is just fantastic. I do think, though, this song has a couple of issues, the main one being that the lyrics are rather nebulous, and seem to be full of thinly veiled innuendo. Now, sure, I'm not denying these songs didn't have innuendo in them, but they were much more subtle than this is. Also, I'd argue that the mixing does seem to be drowning out Mars at a couple of points, but I still really like this song. The faux-80's vibe was always going to hook me in, but I think that this does do enough new to keep it modern and contemporary, and I hope this will be staying around for sometime to come.
4. Shape Of You - Ed Sheeran (Chart Position - 2)
Every Ed Sheeran song this week is using posts from previous weeks, as I intend to do a full album review at some point:
Of course this was going to be here. Shape Of You is undoubtedly Sheeran's greatest hit, and it's not hard to see why. It has such a relaxed feel to it in every element of production: the writing, the vocals, the melodies, the beat, everything just feels so relaxed and chilled. The story of simple physical attraction is wonderfully told, and it never amounts to anything more than it purports to be. I know I keep saying this about Sheeran, about his storytelling, but it is true - he does tell a story with his music. Each song is like a little short story that paints a world perfectly, but never outstays it's welcome. This is helped by Sheeran's voice, which, like every song on this list, is just phenomenal. He has an amazing instrument, and is totally in command of that instrument. That his songs have possibly the best production values on the chart is another positive. Sheeran has many different styles, all of which are executed successfully, and Shape Of You is the ultimate proof of that. The crowning glory in the career of one of the best artist's of the past decade. Simply amazing.
3. Galway Girl - Ed Sheeran (Chart Position - 1)
Every Ed Sheeran song this week is using posts from previous weeks, as I intend to do a full album review at some point:
Why wasn't this released as a single? This is fantastic! It's electronic, mixed with Irish river-dance, mixed with a wonderful acoustic sound. It shouldn't, by rights, work... but oh my God, it does! It's upbeat, slow, different and familiar all at the same time. It's simply about an Irish girl who has a one-night stand with Ed, and I love it's simplicity. It isn't pretentious about anything, just tells it like it is. And I love it. It's melody is simple, allowing it's barrage of styles to come together, and it doesn't outstay it's welcome either. It's nice and short, and it just works. Simply magical.
2. Symphony - Clean Bandit & Zara Larsson (Chart Position - 3)
My thoughts from two weeks ago:
I still love this song. Is that to do with the fact that it's a triumphant return to form for Clean Bandit? Yes. Is it to do with the fact that Zara Larsson is one of the best up-and-coming singers at the moment? Yes. Is it a great collision between two artists at the top of their game, and manages to be both interesting and different? Yes. Seriously, this is something bloody special, and that's rare in the charts. I don't care if I sound like a madman, but when music's as good as this, I've got every right to shout. Totally amazing, and a song to believe the hype about.
1. Stay - Zedd & Alessia Cara (Chart Position - 6)
My thoughts from last week:
Wow! This song shot up the charts, is what you might be saying. And the reason why? Well, I just really like this song. It's as simple as that. I think that, as new and different things go, it's the newest and differentist song out there at the moment. But I really like the energy it has: a lot of songs that have touched on this subject matter recently have felt lacking in energy, and they've frankly been a little soulless. This most definitely isn't: it's powerful, it's not afraid to try and add in different effects (seriously, why has no one thought to include a ticking clock before?), and it's just a masterpiece from start to finish. Sure, it's not perfect. As I mentioned, the lyrics are a bit ordinary, especially considering the way everything else feels so different by comparison. But what this song does do is great, and I honestly thing that the good heavily outweighs the bad. The anthem for early summer, I'm telling you. No matter what it turns out to be, this will be the song I listen to on repeat.
So, this is the Spotify Chart cross-compared with my listings for ease of reference:
Spotify:
1. Galway Girl - Ed Sheeran
2. Shape Of You - Ed Sheeran
3. Symphony - Clean Bandit & Zara Larsson
4. Passionfruit - Drake
5. HUMBLE. - Kendrick Lamar
6. Stay - Zedd & Alessia Cara
7. Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay
8. Solo Dance - Martin Jensen
9. It Ain't Me - Kygo & Selena Gomez
10. That's What I Like - Bruno Mars
Me:
1. Stay (with Alessia Cara) - Zedd & Alessia Cara
2. Symphony - Clean Bandit & Zara Larsson
3. Galway Girl - Ed Sheeran
4. Shape Of You - Ed Sheeran
5. That's What I Like - Bruno Mars
6. It Ain't Me (with Selena Gomez) - Kygo & Selena Gomez
7. Solo Dance - Martin Jensen
8. Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay
9. Passionfruit - Drake
10. HUMBLE. - Kendrick Lamar
The chart rankings for the next few weeks will be a little more scattershot, as there will be a lot more content that I'm producing for the return of Doctor Who to TV. Nevertheless, I shall return next week with another chart ranking!
10. HUMBLE. - Kendrick Lemar (Chart Position - 5)
Oh Christ... Not again. Now, if people really like this thing, then I suppose that's valid. Everyone has their own little quirks, but I don't understand how anyone who has any regard for the past 100 years of female emancipation can actually like this. It's far, far too obtuse, and, while it does have some interesting musical structures (even if it is far too repetitive), the lyrics are what really kick the song in the knackers. This follows the same level of sophistication that Drake's latest album did, and I'm rather worried that this kind of music is actually going to become popular. Sure, Kendrick Lamar has a lot more energy than Drake does, but this kind of childish objectification of women just really grates on me. For a song that's meant to be humble, this is anything but. 
9. Passionfruit - Drake (Chart Position - 4)My thoughts from three weeks ago:
This is possibly the most drastic drop on my chart since these rankings began, and while some would say that it's unwarranted, the reason why this song was so high originally was only because of the poor quality of last week's chart. Sure, it's the best Drake song I've heard and remember by a country mile, but, when up against much stiffer competition, this just crumbles. But, if Drake continues along this route, you might find my unrelenting criticism of him lessening somewhat.
8. Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay (Chart Position - 7)
My thoughts from last week:
Seriously? In the week of summer sunshine and beautiful clear skies, this is the song you choose to be the most average song from the top 10? Now sure, I love the instrumental: the beat is strong and driving, the melodies and effects are diverse and interesting and even the beat drop has grown on me, despite it not being as sophisticated and coherent as songs like Closer and Paris. However, and I've said this every week this has been in the charts, Chris Martin's vocals suck any life this song was trying to have out of it, leaving it a hollow, flat shell. Sure, if you like that thing, that's fine. Martin's delivery works for stuff like Clocks and The Scientist, but anything with a vaguly upbeat tempo, and it all falls apart (save for Viva La Vida and Adventure Of A Lifetime, which are bloody miracles as far as I'm concerned). It's a shame: had The Chainsmokers brought in another guest vocalist (pretty much anyone would have done), this would have been utterly fantastic. As is, I have to be honest, and say it's a song with a massive waste of potential. 7. Solo Dance - Martin Jensen (Chart Position - 8)
My thoughts from last week:I can't really tell if this is EDM or Tropical House... but, whatever it is, it's a bland rehash of all the clichés of both genres. I had hoped that the steady encroachment of Rap and Grime onto their territory would have been the kick up the arse that EDM/Tropical House needed, but it seems I was sadly mistaken. I would just like to say that there's nothing 'wrong' with Solo Dance - the lyrics don't make much sense, but then again, they're not really meant to on a EDM/TH song. It's about the instrumental, and this follows all the genre clichés to the letter. It's really hard to talk about this one, because I've said it all with Don't Wanna Know, Call On Me and Just Hold On. There's so little I can add, apart from that it's a strong performance from Martin Jensen on vocals, and the build-up to the chorus is quite nice. Other than that, this is a song I couldn't really care less about.
6. It Ain't Me - Kygo & Selena Gomez (Chart Position - 9)My thoughts from last week:
Last week, I said that this song had 'been a hit with me' and that 'I liked it'. That's probably an exaggeration. What I think that this song is a pretty decent piece of music that, if it comes up, I don't mind listening to. But I don't think I'd go searching for it to deliberately listen to. This song suffers from the same criticism I could level at Solo Dance: it's just too bland. This one gets away with that, however, by being at least quite engaging. However, it's not really a personal favourite, and I've been far too nice on it the past few weeks for what it actually is. Still, it's not awful, and it has some good points, such as the upbeat instrumental, and the easy vocals from Selena Gomez.
5. That's What I Like - Bruno Mars (Chart Position - 10)
My thoughts from last week:
Now, this is what I'm talking about! This song is great, seriously. It's probably the 80's Groove style that Mars goes for. Since 2013, he's been really good at keying into that latter-day 80's throwback style, which saw him have huge success with Uptown Funk. Sure 24K Magic didn't have quite the same success, but I'd take it over most of the chart in the second half of 2016. And That's What I Like takes it's inspiration from stuff like Between The Sheets and Sign Your Name to create something that is just fantastic. I do think, though, this song has a couple of issues, the main one being that the lyrics are rather nebulous, and seem to be full of thinly veiled innuendo. Now, sure, I'm not denying these songs didn't have innuendo in them, but they were much more subtle than this is. Also, I'd argue that the mixing does seem to be drowning out Mars at a couple of points, but I still really like this song. The faux-80's vibe was always going to hook me in, but I think that this does do enough new to keep it modern and contemporary, and I hope this will be staying around for sometime to come. 4. Shape Of You - Ed Sheeran (Chart Position - 2)
Every Ed Sheeran song this week is using posts from previous weeks, as I intend to do a full album review at some point:Of course this was going to be here. Shape Of You is undoubtedly Sheeran's greatest hit, and it's not hard to see why. It has such a relaxed feel to it in every element of production: the writing, the vocals, the melodies, the beat, everything just feels so relaxed and chilled. The story of simple physical attraction is wonderfully told, and it never amounts to anything more than it purports to be. I know I keep saying this about Sheeran, about his storytelling, but it is true - he does tell a story with his music. Each song is like a little short story that paints a world perfectly, but never outstays it's welcome. This is helped by Sheeran's voice, which, like every song on this list, is just phenomenal. He has an amazing instrument, and is totally in command of that instrument. That his songs have possibly the best production values on the chart is another positive. Sheeran has many different styles, all of which are executed successfully, and Shape Of You is the ultimate proof of that. The crowning glory in the career of one of the best artist's of the past decade. Simply amazing.
3. Galway Girl - Ed Sheeran (Chart Position - 1)
Every Ed Sheeran song this week is using posts from previous weeks, as I intend to do a full album review at some point:
Why wasn't this released as a single? This is fantastic! It's electronic, mixed with Irish river-dance, mixed with a wonderful acoustic sound. It shouldn't, by rights, work... but oh my God, it does! It's upbeat, slow, different and familiar all at the same time. It's simply about an Irish girl who has a one-night stand with Ed, and I love it's simplicity. It isn't pretentious about anything, just tells it like it is. And I love it. It's melody is simple, allowing it's barrage of styles to come together, and it doesn't outstay it's welcome either. It's nice and short, and it just works. Simply magical.
2. Symphony - Clean Bandit & Zara Larsson (Chart Position - 3)My thoughts from two weeks ago:
I still love this song. Is that to do with the fact that it's a triumphant return to form for Clean Bandit? Yes. Is it to do with the fact that Zara Larsson is one of the best up-and-coming singers at the moment? Yes. Is it a great collision between two artists at the top of their game, and manages to be both interesting and different? Yes. Seriously, this is something bloody special, and that's rare in the charts. I don't care if I sound like a madman, but when music's as good as this, I've got every right to shout. Totally amazing, and a song to believe the hype about.
1. Stay - Zedd & Alessia Cara (Chart Position - 6)
My thoughts from last week:Wow! This song shot up the charts, is what you might be saying. And the reason why? Well, I just really like this song. It's as simple as that. I think that, as new and different things go, it's the newest and differentist song out there at the moment. But I really like the energy it has: a lot of songs that have touched on this subject matter recently have felt lacking in energy, and they've frankly been a little soulless. This most definitely isn't: it's powerful, it's not afraid to try and add in different effects (seriously, why has no one thought to include a ticking clock before?), and it's just a masterpiece from start to finish. Sure, it's not perfect. As I mentioned, the lyrics are a bit ordinary, especially considering the way everything else feels so different by comparison. But what this song does do is great, and I honestly thing that the good heavily outweighs the bad. The anthem for early summer, I'm telling you. No matter what it turns out to be, this will be the song I listen to on repeat.
So, this is the Spotify Chart cross-compared with my listings for ease of reference:
Spotify:
1. Galway Girl - Ed Sheeran
2. Shape Of You - Ed Sheeran
3. Symphony - Clean Bandit & Zara Larsson
4. Passionfruit - Drake
5. HUMBLE. - Kendrick Lamar
6. Stay - Zedd & Alessia Cara
7. Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay
8. Solo Dance - Martin Jensen
9. It Ain't Me - Kygo & Selena Gomez
10. That's What I Like - Bruno Mars
Me:
1. Stay (with Alessia Cara) - Zedd & Alessia Cara
2. Symphony - Clean Bandit & Zara Larsson
3. Galway Girl - Ed Sheeran
4. Shape Of You - Ed Sheeran
5. That's What I Like - Bruno Mars
6. It Ain't Me (with Selena Gomez) - Kygo & Selena Gomez
7. Solo Dance - Martin Jensen
8. Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers & Coldplay
9. Passionfruit - Drake
10. HUMBLE. - Kendrick Lamar
The chart rankings for the next few weeks will be a little more scattershot, as there will be a lot more content that I'm producing for the return of Doctor Who to TV. Nevertheless, I shall return next week with another chart ranking!
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