Another week, another chart rankings. With the enforced hiatus now over, you can expect more original content from me regarding songs, and their development on the charts. As we move into June, it's clear that the big summer tunes are lining themselves up (especially now that Shape Of You has now left the top 10 - the last song from the winter), and unfortunately, if things carry on the way they are, there will be much to complain about. Let's get started with number 10:
10. Swalla - Jason Derulo, Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign (Chart Position - 7)
This is ridiculous... This is still in the charts? Really? It's a load of rubbish! There's very little technical merit to this song, and even less lyrical merit. It's blander than paint drying, with poor writing, poor performances and terrible, terrible production. Seriously, everything's layered with so many effects that is sounds more like it was made in a computer. The kind of drivel that really shouldn't be making it into the charts, and yet, by a freak of nature, somehow does. It's utterly bizarre.
9. Despacito: Remix - Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee & Justin Bieber (Chart Position - 1)
Seriously, has life got so bad that we are putting this at number 1? This is a total mess, with so many desperate styles and conflicting vocals that it feels like every singer is fighting for air time. I genuinely cannot believe that people are actually choosing to listen to this song. Bieber sounds like a wasp trapped in a jam jar, and the other two give totally flat performances. The production feels phoned in as well, with the Spanish-style beat and riffs sounding like they were just pulled off Garage Band. The whole thing smacks of desperate cash grab, and, for that reason alone, it stinks. It doesn't help that it's also terrible.
8. I'm The One - DJ Khaled, Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance The Rapper & Lil Wayne (Chart Position - 2)
If the top position on the Spotify chart at the moment isn't patently ridiculous, than it's number 2 isn't much better. Sure, the beat on this is decent (not great, or even good, just decent), but the rest is overloaded with too many elements. Five singers! It's like the British Civil Service, putting five men in where one would do. Two of those happen to be Justin Bieber and Lil Wayne, who just can't sing, and bring the whole thing down even more. And, just in general, the song is pretty bland. Sure, the beat is competent, but I would hardly call it exciting or even interesting. Your life has got to be pretty bland for you to like this.
7. Did You See - J HUS (Chart Position - 8)
I'm still baffled as to how this song actually got into the top 10. I don't feel like this song has any 'hook' or element to draw people in. Sure, it seems to playing off the weird phenomena at the moment regarding what I would term 'get down' songs. They're everywhere! And this is one of those examples. It's pretty dull and uninteresting, which prevents it ranking lower than the other songs on this list, however that doesn't excuse the fact that I can see no reason why this was made. J HUS' performance on this is pretty bland, but other than a few gross innuendos, I can't really say there's anything overtly wrong. But neither is their anything overtly right either.
6. Unforgettable - French Montana & Swae Lee (Chart Position - 3)
What a soulless, insipid mess? There is nothing about this song that is remotely interesting, it's just as bland as Did You See. The lyrics are dull. The beat is dull. The vocals are dull. The production on the song is dull. Everything is dull. The list of songs that this one badly rips off is huge. I have no real desire to listen to, or even to write about, a song as flat and uninteresting as this one. While not technically bad, like the previous four, this has nothing for me to get enthusiastic about either.
5. Strip That Down - Liam Payne & Quavo (Chart Position - 6)
Several ex-members of One Direction have released songs over the past few weeks. Louis Tomlinson has collaborated with Steve Akoi, Zayn Malik has been given the top song for Fifty Shades Darker and had a collaboration with some second-rate rapper, and both Niall Horan and Harry Styles have released songs that, thankfully, haven't reached the top wings of the chart. And, finally, it's time for Liam Payne to join their ranks. I have to admit, Payne has made a brave choice: this is very unlike anything One Direction, or any of his solo bandmates are doing (although Zayn is bordering towards it with some of his stuff). However, Liam Payne is trying too hard to fit into a style that he just doesn't have the vocal chops for, and, just like Louis Tomlinson with Just Hold On, he just doesn't fit in with the style that he's going for. It's a shame, because the production is at least competent here. It just so happens that the artist in question doesn't belong here. Quavo's contributions feel mild-mannered in comparison to most rapper's guest verses on songs this year, which is a plus. However, this is just one instance of a song not being quite right for an artist's vocal talents, which is a shame, as Payne is really trying to fit in with the style of the genre. It's just a shame it doesn't work.
4. Mama - Jonas Blue & William Singe (Chart Position - 10)
You know the week is bad when the blandest Jonas Blue song ever hits number 4 on my rankings. Now, I think Jonas Blue are, generally, quite good. However, I think Mama might be a bit of a mis-step. Sure, it's not terrible, but I'd hardly call it interesting or exciting either. Once again, we're hit by a bland EDM song (another sign that things don't bode well for this genre) that, while not being in any way terrible, just feels uninspired and dull. There's a strong performance from William Singe, and the beat itself is pretty decent, but the whole thing just feels a bit of a shame, especially considering Jonas Blue can produce a lot better than this. Not bad, but I had hoped for more.
3. There's Nothing Holding Me Back - Shawn Mendes (Chart Position - 4)
I still think this has problems. There's Nothing Holding Me Back has grown on me, but I still feel like it needed a bit more work before it was released. The jumps between the relaxed, easy-going style of the verses and the full-on guitar riffs of the chorus just feel a bit odd and a bit bizarre. The rest of the song is pretty decent, however, and I think that, in some areas, it's Shawn Mendes' best song. Yet, the simple fact that the instrumental jumps from style to style prevents this from reaching it's true potential, and it's kept from being as highly-regarded by me and others as it could be. I reckon an acoustic version of this song could go down a treat.
2. Attention - Charlie Puth (Chart Position - 9)
This is still pretty bland, run-of-the-mill Charlie Puth. If you've heard any Charlie Puth song before this, it's the sort of thing you would expect. Sure, there are some good aspects about it (such as the instrumental, which at least flows into each cord, unlike There's Nothing Holding Me Back), but the main thing that lets it down is Charlie's vocals. There's not enough energy there for the song that's being told. It's what let Marvin Gaye (the song, not the artist) down: he just doesn't quite have the push to give the song what it deserves. It doesn't help that his vocals get somewhat lost in the mix as well. Attention is really trying to be good, but unfortunately just misses out, despite trying as hard as it can.
1. Symphony - Clean Bandit & Zara Larsson (Chart Position - 5)
The only song on this week's chart I could even describe as good, Symphony is a little ray of sunshine. I love the lightness of this, I really do. It's the perfect song for the airy summer weather we've been having: a bright, light tune that knows it's limits and doesn't try to overstep them. It helps that every element of the production is perfect, and all those elements are singing from the same hymn sheet. From the confident beat to the lovely melodies and Zara Larsson's amazing vocals, this song is exactly what we should have more of in the charts in summer: confidently produced light songs like this. A great piece of work.
So, this is the Spotify Chart cross-compared with my listings for ease of reference:
Spotify:
1. Despacito: Remix - Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee & Justin Bieber
2. I'm The One - DJ Khaled, Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance The Rapper & Lil Wayne
3. Unforgettable - French Montana & Swae Lee
4. There's Nothing Holding Me Back - Shawn Mendes
5. Symphony - Clean Bandit & Zara Larsson
6. Strip That Down - Liam Payne & Quavo
7. Swalla - Jason Derulo, Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign
8. Did You See - J HUS
9. Attention - Charlie Puth
10. Mama - Jonas Blue & William Singe
Me:
1. Symphony - Clean Bandit & Zara Larsson
2. Attention - Charlie Puth
3. There's Nothing Holding Me Back - Shawn Mendes
4. Mama - Jonas Blue & William Singe
5. Strip That Down - Liam Payne & Quavo
6. Unforgettable - French Montana & Swae Lee
7. Did You See - J HUS
8. I'm The One - DJ Khaled, Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance The Rapper & Lil Wayne
9. Despacito: Remix - Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee & Justin Bieber
10. Swalla - Jason Derulo, Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign
Join me next week for, what I hope will be, a slightly more positive chart analysis.
10. Swalla - Jason Derulo, Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign (Chart Position - 7)
This is ridiculous... This is still in the charts? Really? It's a load of rubbish! There's very little technical merit to this song, and even less lyrical merit. It's blander than paint drying, with poor writing, poor performances and terrible, terrible production. Seriously, everything's layered with so many effects that is sounds more like it was made in a computer. The kind of drivel that really shouldn't be making it into the charts, and yet, by a freak of nature, somehow does. It's utterly bizarre. 
9. Despacito: Remix - Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee & Justin Bieber (Chart Position - 1)Seriously, has life got so bad that we are putting this at number 1? This is a total mess, with so many desperate styles and conflicting vocals that it feels like every singer is fighting for air time. I genuinely cannot believe that people are actually choosing to listen to this song. Bieber sounds like a wasp trapped in a jam jar, and the other two give totally flat performances. The production feels phoned in as well, with the Spanish-style beat and riffs sounding like they were just pulled off Garage Band. The whole thing smacks of desperate cash grab, and, for that reason alone, it stinks. It doesn't help that it's also terrible.
8. I'm The One - DJ Khaled, Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance The Rapper & Lil Wayne (Chart Position - 2)
If the top position on the Spotify chart at the moment isn't patently ridiculous, than it's number 2 isn't much better. Sure, the beat on this is decent (not great, or even good, just decent), but the rest is overloaded with too many elements. Five singers! It's like the British Civil Service, putting five men in where one would do. Two of those happen to be Justin Bieber and Lil Wayne, who just can't sing, and bring the whole thing down even more. And, just in general, the song is pretty bland. Sure, the beat is competent, but I would hardly call it exciting or even interesting. Your life has got to be pretty bland for you to like this. 7. Did You See - J HUS (Chart Position - 8)
I'm still baffled as to how this song actually got into the top 10. I don't feel like this song has any 'hook' or element to draw people in. Sure, it seems to playing off the weird phenomena at the moment regarding what I would term 'get down' songs. They're everywhere! And this is one of those examples. It's pretty dull and uninteresting, which prevents it ranking lower than the other songs on this list, however that doesn't excuse the fact that I can see no reason why this was made. J HUS' performance on this is pretty bland, but other than a few gross innuendos, I can't really say there's anything overtly wrong. But neither is their anything overtly right either.6. Unforgettable - French Montana & Swae Lee (Chart Position - 3)
What a soulless, insipid mess? There is nothing about this song that is remotely interesting, it's just as bland as Did You See. The lyrics are dull. The beat is dull. The vocals are dull. The production on the song is dull. Everything is dull. The list of songs that this one badly rips off is huge. I have no real desire to listen to, or even to write about, a song as flat and uninteresting as this one. While not technically bad, like the previous four, this has nothing for me to get enthusiastic about either. 5. Strip That Down - Liam Payne & Quavo (Chart Position - 6)
Several ex-members of One Direction have released songs over the past few weeks. Louis Tomlinson has collaborated with Steve Akoi, Zayn Malik has been given the top song for Fifty Shades Darker and had a collaboration with some second-rate rapper, and both Niall Horan and Harry Styles have released songs that, thankfully, haven't reached the top wings of the chart. And, finally, it's time for Liam Payne to join their ranks. I have to admit, Payne has made a brave choice: this is very unlike anything One Direction, or any of his solo bandmates are doing (although Zayn is bordering towards it with some of his stuff). However, Liam Payne is trying too hard to fit into a style that he just doesn't have the vocal chops for, and, just like Louis Tomlinson with Just Hold On, he just doesn't fit in with the style that he's going for. It's a shame, because the production is at least competent here. It just so happens that the artist in question doesn't belong here. Quavo's contributions feel mild-mannered in comparison to most rapper's guest verses on songs this year, which is a plus. However, this is just one instance of a song not being quite right for an artist's vocal talents, which is a shame, as Payne is really trying to fit in with the style of the genre. It's just a shame it doesn't work.4. Mama - Jonas Blue & William Singe (Chart Position - 10)
You know the week is bad when the blandest Jonas Blue song ever hits number 4 on my rankings. Now, I think Jonas Blue are, generally, quite good. However, I think Mama might be a bit of a mis-step. Sure, it's not terrible, but I'd hardly call it interesting or exciting either. Once again, we're hit by a bland EDM song (another sign that things don't bode well for this genre) that, while not being in any way terrible, just feels uninspired and dull. There's a strong performance from William Singe, and the beat itself is pretty decent, but the whole thing just feels a bit of a shame, especially considering Jonas Blue can produce a lot better than this. Not bad, but I had hoped for more. 
3. There's Nothing Holding Me Back - Shawn Mendes (Chart Position - 4)I still think this has problems. There's Nothing Holding Me Back has grown on me, but I still feel like it needed a bit more work before it was released. The jumps between the relaxed, easy-going style of the verses and the full-on guitar riffs of the chorus just feel a bit odd and a bit bizarre. The rest of the song is pretty decent, however, and I think that, in some areas, it's Shawn Mendes' best song. Yet, the simple fact that the instrumental jumps from style to style prevents this from reaching it's true potential, and it's kept from being as highly-regarded by me and others as it could be. I reckon an acoustic version of this song could go down a treat.
2. Attention - Charlie Puth (Chart Position - 9)
This is still pretty bland, run-of-the-mill Charlie Puth. If you've heard any Charlie Puth song before this, it's the sort of thing you would expect. Sure, there are some good aspects about it (such as the instrumental, which at least flows into each cord, unlike There's Nothing Holding Me Back), but the main thing that lets it down is Charlie's vocals. There's not enough energy there for the song that's being told. It's what let Marvin Gaye (the song, not the artist) down: he just doesn't quite have the push to give the song what it deserves. It doesn't help that his vocals get somewhat lost in the mix as well. Attention is really trying to be good, but unfortunately just misses out, despite trying as hard as it can.
1. Symphony - Clean Bandit & Zara Larsson (Chart Position - 5)The only song on this week's chart I could even describe as good, Symphony is a little ray of sunshine. I love the lightness of this, I really do. It's the perfect song for the airy summer weather we've been having: a bright, light tune that knows it's limits and doesn't try to overstep them. It helps that every element of the production is perfect, and all those elements are singing from the same hymn sheet. From the confident beat to the lovely melodies and Zara Larsson's amazing vocals, this song is exactly what we should have more of in the charts in summer: confidently produced light songs like this. A great piece of work.
So, this is the Spotify Chart cross-compared with my listings for ease of reference:
Spotify:
1. Despacito: Remix - Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee & Justin Bieber
2. I'm The One - DJ Khaled, Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance The Rapper & Lil Wayne
3. Unforgettable - French Montana & Swae Lee
4. There's Nothing Holding Me Back - Shawn Mendes
5. Symphony - Clean Bandit & Zara Larsson
6. Strip That Down - Liam Payne & Quavo
7. Swalla - Jason Derulo, Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign
8. Did You See - J HUS
9. Attention - Charlie Puth
10. Mama - Jonas Blue & William Singe
Me:
1. Symphony - Clean Bandit & Zara Larsson
2. Attention - Charlie Puth
3. There's Nothing Holding Me Back - Shawn Mendes
4. Mama - Jonas Blue & William Singe
5. Strip That Down - Liam Payne & Quavo
6. Unforgettable - French Montana & Swae Lee
7. Did You See - J HUS
8. I'm The One - DJ Khaled, Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance The Rapper & Lil Wayne
9. Despacito: Remix - Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee & Justin Bieber
10. Swalla - Jason Derulo, Nicki Minaj & Ty Dolla $ign
Join me next week for, what I hope will be, a slightly more positive chart analysis.
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